Taking Your Lumps - Week 4

Despite what my mug might say, I am not the "World's Greatest Dad"... in fact, I don't even have a "World's Greatest Dad" mug which I hope does not change, and also I hope does not represent some deep seeded fear about my current patriarchy.

 Not to be down on myself, I am deeply in love with being Dad, deeply invested in the well being of my children, deeply engaged in their daily lives, but also deeply inexperienced, tragically misinformed, and ultimately unqualified...

Which is good, because that puts me in a class with so many other dads out there.  And just because I use Instagram to remind me what I did only one week ago does not make me a bad father...

 The week began with a cold. The weather was not cold, but the snot dripping would make you think it was well into December. I didn't want to wear the boys out because the longer the nose drips the more likely the rest of us come down with the same debilitation.

Monday we got a movie day. There wasn't much planned anyway, save playing on the deck and eating so it didn't really get in the way, and the oldest was psyched that the TV still worked. I figured by Tuesday we'd be gold if we could get some sleep, and kept the activity to Arts & Crafts.

 The oldest gets paints, the youngest gets crayons, and the Father gets to have fun feigning art skill while teaching two active young gentlemen to stay engaged in one activity at a time for a while. It took him two days, but we did create a "masterpiece".

Tuesday it appeared that the cold was abating, however I started to feel the tell-tale signs of oncoming mucous explosions and again decided that easier would be better. So we stayed around home for the second day. The yard is a great place to be when you can't be anywhere else, although it makes it hard to get stuff done in the house.

 Infants can choke on anything in mere moments. Sometimes the only evidence that it happened is a bit of puke on the deck and a strange pin-prick rash under an eye, and a bit of scleral-staining... If you're reading this as a novice, I think it's important to share our failures if only to reveal that there is a fine line between helicopter parenting and negligence and sometimes you find yourself on the wrong side of the fence. When it turns out well you drop to your knees, hold your boy tight in your arms, shake a little, kiss a lot, and praise Jesus for protecting the ones you love. And when it doesn't.... Well that's why we tear up during commercials after becoming a parent. No nightmare can compare.

 On a funnier note, my boys are both rather sensitive to mosquito bites. You can't keep them totally bug-free in the summer, especially when they are out at the lake, but man, when they get one; it lasts a long time, and sometimes has funny, John Merrick-like consequences.

By Wednesday the youngest was both teething, and dealing with a full on cold, and the oldest was getting a bit squirrelly. A bit... hah! So we flew kites. Brilliant fun. It was a chance to get out in the neighbourhood, connect with neighbours with children the same age, and take part in a timeless bonding activity.

"I think George would be proud!" exclaims the oldest, referring to the classic Curious George Flies A Kite that he's memorized. "I'm the best kite-flyer in the whole world ever." He completes. Which, of course, he is!

Thursday found us back at the library for story-time which the boys are starting to feel more comfortable participating in, even if the more they participate the less comfortable in public their Dad is. A quick stop for the Captain to the park, and we were off to our first dental appointment.

The "Dentist" is a place where a Dad can feel either great pride in his son, or great pride in knowing no one else can contain him either. Which boy would arrive at the appointment was anyone's guess... but man was I proud walking out.

My last failure as a father is my inability to allow my wife to purchase a boat, so, out of great pity and empathy a friend from church, an older friend of my Father-in-Law, offered us a trip out to Chestermere Lake so he could take us tubing and water skiing.

I expressed as much reluctance as would seem polite*, and Friday morning we had one of those perfect days you see only on Lottery Commercials.

And we're still not getting a boat.

 *if someone offers you a trip in a boat, reluctance of any type is rude. I'm sorry you had to look this up.