10th Anniversary - Week 6 through 8

I didn't feel much like a Stay-At-Home Dad the past few weeks because I had a lot of help, and we didn't exactly stay at home.

Ready to Go! (First picture with new camera)

My wife and I celebrated our 10th Anniversary (and our 14th year together!).  In honour of this special event I purchased her a new DSLR and planned a vacation.  The camera is an obvious choice (Nikon D3100) but you're probably thinking that planning a vacation is not all that special.

Although the last time I did that for her, it was our honeymoon, so I thought it was pretty significant.

Which brings me to

FAIL #1:

Planning anything with two active toddlers.

Organizing Toddlers...

If you have found yourself at home with two active toddlers, and you're thinking to yourself I'd like to surprise my spouse with something really special that will require some sit-down, organizational time and planning.  May I suggest hiring a baby sitter?  It really wasn't too bad... but it wasn't like it used to be that's for certain.  Thankfully, and for a change, I started months ahead of time, but the week of packing was the most difficult.

It took two days to pack the van, organize the food, complete the laundry and ensure that the list of items to take was complete.  We were leaving for fourteen days so it was important to be thorough.  Which meant that the boys either had to play IN the van while it was being packed, or they had to play IN the suitcase while it was being packed.

It happened though, and we didn't leave anything or anyone behind.

Learning to Read

You're anticipating FAIL #2 aren't you...

You're thinking that long road trips with two kids under four might be too much.  They're actually much better than you think.  We left on a Thursday night and only traveled about four hours from home.

The oldest walked into the roadside motel room (booked on Priceline) and exclaimed "Oh WOW!  This is great!  I really like this Daddy!  They have TWO beds!"  and I said, "Boy, that's exactly how a holiday should start, I now think this place is awesome too!"

FAIL #2

Be consistent.

Bedtime Olympics

The hardest part of the road trip was not the road, but the sleeping arrangements.  For the first four days of the trip the boys had to make a bed in a different place and it was interesting to hear the oldest bubble about how great the trip is, and every night pine for home.  It's a hard predicament; to want to make it all the way out to Vancouver Island from Calgary, see friends on the way, and do it in an efficient but effective manner.  Had we to do it over again I think we might have cut the drive to Whistler out of the trip to let the boys find a  place to set up for two days.  I think two days is all it takes, but a change every night is hard on them.

FAIL #3

You will never fit it all in.

Sorry Hendriks, we didn't get out to see you because you live further away than it looks like on a map of Canada.  The struggle with any big trip to places where you have friends is how do you fit all of it in, and maintain some sanity.  If people can't come to you, which often they can't, then you have to go to them.  If you're always going then you never truly find a rest which is what vacations are supposed to be for, right?

Relaxing Breakfasts

This fail is really only a pseudo fail though, because at the last minute we cancelled plans to travel too much once we got to Comox, and we cut our losses and chose a home near the water to set up shop for six days. By the end of the second day we no longer heard, "can we go home now" from the eldest.

For the Love of the Cowpoke

Part of the trip was for Andrea to see her friends too... It's not ALWAYS about me and the boys, and so we spent some time with our Military connections in Comox (all originally Calgary connections).  These times let my wife out thrift-shore shopping, evening gossip on the harbour, and beach dwelling with friends.

Spray Park Shenanigans

And why would you want to go home?!  The Island is so -- well there's a reason people retire there.  Not a day wasn't filled with some adventure, there is so much to do, and so much to see...

Comox

Lookout

FAIL #4

BC Ferries 

BC Ferries

These will remain a bane in anyone's travels not because of the BC Ferry itself, but because you just never know what is going to happen when you get there.

Attempt number 1: 

a) No Reservations - Justification:  we might want to spend an extra day in Whistler after we get there.  Prediction came true, so I look smart.
b) Wake up early enough to make the 10am sail - Justification:  We'll have lots of time to settle when we get to Comox.  Prediction came true, so I look smart.
c) No Alarm - Justification:  I have two kids under 4, who needs an alarm to get up early.  FAIL: Blackout curtains and late nights mean sleep in mornings for all.  I look like an idiot rolling over at 10 after 8 saying, "everybody up, we were supposed to leave a half hour ago!"

We made it to the ferry just in time... to sit at the ticket window because they'd closed the line ups one car before us.  Stress and anxiety abound for about ten minutes when the next sail opened up.

Unanticipated lucky break:  I didn't realize that you don't reserve every sail, and there was a boat leaving immediately after the one that I thought we'd missed.

Hunter Gatherers

Attempt number 2:

a) Reservations - Justification:  we need to be in Abbotsford by 3:30pm on a Sunday for dinner with relatives.  This is true, the extra money to reserve was worth it.
b) Wake up early enough to leave Comox to get to Nanaimo at least 30 minutes before sail to make the reservations.  This is true, we were good.
c) Plant a tree - When staying with people who have no kids for six days, no matter how much they love your kids, buy them something significant to remember why they never want to do that again...  then plant it.  Gift was well received but it pushed back the schedule
d) Buy gas - You'll need it to get to the Ferry.  This is true.  You won't look like a failure if you run out, no matter how expensive you think it might be on the Island.
e) Don't tell your wife what time you need to be at the Ferry - Justification:  she'll just start stressing if she knows that you're starting to run late.  This prediction is true, but can come back to harm you later.

Unanticipated Hiccough:  Simon gets sick on the way out of Comox all over the back seat.  It takes 20 extra minutes to clean up, and we're already late.

We made it to the Ferry (2 minutes late for the 30 minutes ahead of time) but there was a snafu with the ferries and there were traffic managers out in vests directing cars to proper line-ups.

"Do you have a reservation?" she says
"Yes" exclaims I, smirking and feeling smart.
"What time?" says she.
"Why 12:55 of course." replied confidently
"There is no 12:55" curtly responded
"Then 10 after 1?" I shrug
"You can't reserve that sail" she says.
"But I did!" starting to sweat "Maybe it could be 3?" I panic.  "I don't know let me find the reservation..."
"Here's your ticket for the line-up" she says. "If you figure it out, perhaps they'll let you pull out to the front."
"Thank you" I swallow all pride and start to drive.

And 500 cars later we're on the outskirts of Nanaimo wondering what is wrong that we're all the way back here.

STRESS.  ANXIETY.  DISAPPOINTMENT.

I pull out to speak to another traffic agent:

"Hey, I have a reservation here, it's for 12:15.  We were put in the wrong line up"
"Too bad"
"Pardon me what?!"
"You have to be in the line a half hour ahead of time.  You must be late"
"But I wasn't..."
"You're late.  If you're lucky you'll make the 3 o'clock sail."
"but..."
"get it line please"

STRESS. ANXIETY. DISAPPOINTMENT.

Wife: You idiot.
Me: Yes.
Wife: I'm going for a walk.
Me: Please talk to another agent.
Wife: Fine.
Me: I'll send a text saying we may not make it.

She leaves...

And comes back with a young male traffic attendant who seems extra eager to help this sexy blonde find a way onto the ferry.  He seems taken back when he arrives at the window of the van and she's married with kids.

"I'll radio ahead" says he.
"And you think we can get on?" says I.
"You should be good to go.  You have five minutes before it sails.  GO."
"Thank you." I blurt. "It is so good to know that men's chivalrous inclinations to save damsels is not only still alive and thriving but my wife is still classified as a damsel."

Okay, I didn't say that, but I thought it.

We were the last on the boat.

RELIEF.

Almost home.

Yard Party

Visiting family is always worth the extra effort, and ours is no different.  We arranged with our friends to meet them back at their place in Chilliwack that evening and have one last "Drink in the Hallway"... that's a story for my wife to tell though.

And then we were off to Sicamous for our last two days on the road, and some peace and tranquility... just need to find my wallet... yep, no I'm almost ready to go, but can't find my wallet... no I'm sure it was in the van... did you move it last night... no... no I know it goes in here... did you lock the van... can we look inside again... where's my wallet...

STRESS. ANXIETY. DISAPPOINTMENT.

A comedy of errors led to my wallet being left in the console of the van, the van being uncharacteristically left unlocked, and a errant traveller happening by early in the morning finding that luck had changed...  Fortunately we knew it was stolen because it was being used in Chilliwack as I was on the phone with the bank.

Sans an identity, and without cash we left with our tails between our legs feeling stupid and taken advantage of even though we realized that we had won the "stupid errors add up lottery".  I'm still sorting this one out today...

It was a sour end to the vacation.  And a FAIL we can learn from... but just outside of Salmon Arm there's a phone call that wasn't from the RCMP.  It was our friends from Calgary who just happened to be staying at the same Owlhead Creek B&B that we were going to!

Riding a Horse

Riding Paisley

Guidance

So basically every day of this holiday my boys had someone to play with, and we had other adults around.  Who planned this holiday?  (Have I mentioned I'm perfect?)

All gifts, failures, and moments of stress aside some of the best conversations we have is on the road, and this holiday we focused on one year of our relationship for every day of our travels.  That might have been the best celebration of 10 years we did.  Day one we spoke only of 1998, and by day 14 we opened up 2012. (We actually didn't have much to say about the last five years since it was all so fresh there was no point trying to relive them)... Overall, we realized how much of life we've shared, how much has changed, how much we cherished, and how neither of us can remember 2003.

10 Years More... at the Black Fin Pub, Comox BC

The Perfect Week - Week 5

I'm not ashamed to say that I've learned all that I need to learn about being a stay-at-home dad now.  The only thing left to do is put it in cruise-control and enjoy the road.  I'm not ashamed to say it, because of course it's true.

The perfect week began with a perfect day to be outside, and so we got in the van, pre-loaded with an arsenal of gear, set our sights on finding some water to play in and then started to drive.

Always Bring a Backpack

One of the best parts of living in Calgary is the proximity to... well... everywhere that's not an ocean.  There's Dinosaur Provincial Park just over an hour east.  Kananaskis, and Banff within an hour west.  A few hours south there is Waterton, and a few hours north there is Edmonton... okay, so there's not that much to the north.  But still...

The boys were content.

"Dad, this is a long way to go for water" says the oldest 20 minutes into our drive.

I'd chosen west, thinking perhaps Bragg Creek or Jumping Pound Creek might suit my fancy.  While  admiring the boys in the rear-view mirror I had also happened to glance at the National Park pass that dangled there like a flacid reminder of once-good-intentions.

08/2012

The expiry date indicating that August 2011 was the last time I had been to the Parks.  "You know what?" says I to myself. "I should really make use of that."  And so we were on our way to Banff.

"Dad, I just wanted to go to the Spray Park" the oldest reminds me.

"We're almost there." I reply, and relative to the size of the country, I couldn't feel guilty for lying...

We made it.  I hadn't been to Banff for a long time.  Parts have changed significantly which meant it was a fresh visit for me, and the boys had never been there which meant the playground held a magical significance for them... even though there is one across the street.

See the thing about being Dad is... half of the job is for the kids, and half of the job is for yourself.  Monday began the perfect week because I did what I wanted to do out of pure selflessness...

You can't top Banff on Monday right?  Well no, you can't.  So I didn't try.

My Aunt brought over the youngest cousins on the paternal side; two mentors of destruction for my two boys; the perfect tandem. She left them here for a few hours and so, like a perfect stay-at-home-dad I took all of them for a walk to the park.  The oldest rode a plastic trike that was 3 sizes too small.  The middle, he took a scooter.  My oldest took his bike with the wonky wheel, I pushed the plastic car with the youngest and the dog was in tow.

Not satisfied with the playground though, we decided we were hungry (like a group of men are wont to be) so off to the grocery store we ambled.  Yes... 5 boys and a dog... Because I'm perfect.

There were an awful lot of grumpy people at the grocery store that day.  And considering the beautiful weather and the timing of our visit, I found it really quite distressing -- all this negativity.

Time found the oldest cousin pushing the grocery cart with my oldest in the seat, while the younger cousin sat in the front of the cart pushing the plastic car with my youngest through the store.  I was at the lead like a disturbingly passive Piper of Hamelin tossing produce and provisions to the pledges behind.

Really it could not have gone more better.  Don't know what all the dirty looks were about...

The oldest really wanted to go to the gym this week.  Which is great for me, and for the boys.  So we went.  Because it was the perfect week I decided that it was time for the youngest to go down the Great Blue Water-slide of Doom.  The oldest had long-since become accustomed to the rarefied air and ritual queuing at the starting gate, not-to-mention the extreme speeds reached on the precipitous drops during the ride.  Plus, he had been begging to go on his own for the past little while.  So... with the slightest of nods from the on-duty life-coach relaxed on her deck chair at the top of this perilous monstrosity, off he went unintimidated, upside-down and backward down the slide; little brother watching anxiously from my arms.

I must now pause to mention that the oldest often gets what he wants because the youngest really hasn't learned to express himself properly.  We don't get much more than *sign for:  Please-feed-me-now or *sign fo:  Yes-that-choice-of-food-is-adequate-the-quicker-you-shove-it-in-my-mouth-the-less-volume-I-will-use-to-emphatically-sign-this... and so lest you should think that I favour one over the other, please remember that the youngest only just learned how to walk and I wasn't about to let him go down the slide by himself just so that things were fair.  I'm surprised you'd even expect that!

Food: The Ultimate Learning Tool

Suffice to say, not only did the oldest live, but he refused to get off the slide at the bottom, much to the chagrin of the now "suddenly-I'm-interested-in-the-welfare-of-the-patrons" slide-patrol.  Like this was my fault -- someone should tell her what a perfect Dad I am.

I found myself by Thursday looking back at the week and thinking -- "well, imagine that, it's Thursday and no one has choked, no one has thrown a temper-tantrum, no one has injured themselves, no mosquitoes have feasted, no sunburns, or goose-eggs.  The diaper-rashes had abated, the teeth had emerged, there were moments of quiet serenity in the house.  What could possibly happen before the Heritage Day Long-Weekend?

Nothing happened.  I went into the weekend having pitched the perfect game, having thrown the proverbial 300, having completed the triple-crown of Daddy daycare.  I rule.

So I took the youngest to visit his great-grandfather in Camrose and left all the diapers, snacks, and toys behind at Ma-Me-O beach.  I could blame it on having Mom around... well actually I can't.

The speed of Bolt during the 100m sprint, or the realization of what was in his pants?
Either way, it was a strange look that afternoon.

That'll learn ya...