Pokémon Go: Advice for Parents

I signed up for a Pokémon account.  It wasn't on a whim; I really wanted to find out what the fuss was about so that I knew what I was banning in my classroom when I get back to school in the fall. Now that I've had it for two weeks I am second guessing my assumption that I will ban it.  Further to that, by allowing my kids to participate with me while I played I have noticed a number of lessons available to them that are typically really difficult to work into their lives authentically.  I call them:

The Rules of Pokémon Go - for Parents.

Lesson 1:  Stepping to the Side

The Rule:  When you Play, you must Step to the Side

It was interesting watching this one develop in my 7 year-old.  We were hanging out in a small village during summer-break with narrow lane-ways and I had given my phone over to my son so he could finally play Pokémon Go.  The only rule I had at the time was that should he wish to actually do anything with the game he must first step to the side of the lane.  Safety is important but I realized quickly that there was a great life-lesson in this.  When a new Pokémon appeared he would quickly step to the side and then look down at the phone to play.  I imagined him as a teenager receiving a text message, or an adult looking for directions or talking to a client and I thought I'm seeing one of those social graces we all wished we saw more of in life - people capable of stepping out of the way when their day is inevitably interrupted by their electronic device.  Here was my 7 year-old developing a positive social habit without any real direction from his parents.

Lesson 2:  Multi-Tasking

The Rule:  Only Look Down when there is an Alert

As a teacher I often see students who have difficulty task-switching.  Whether it is the social conversation they are bringing into the classroom, the game that they can't stop playing, or the conflict of the day they can't seem to leave behind.  It is a habit of mind to be able to be present where you are even though you are surrounded by distractions.  By asking my son to look up while the game was being played I was asking him to set a bearing and trust that he will arrive there without having to watch the map the whole way.  I could have taught this same lesson through Geocaching mind-you, but this was an opportunity that was more in his wheelhouse.  Every time he was forced to pull his eyes from the screen he could engage in conversation, ask questions about the things he was seeing, and be present on our walk.  I was allowing him a chance to train his ability to prioritize tasks in a way in line with our social values.

Lesson 3:  Ettiquette

The Rule:  Don't talk Pokémon Constantly

Mom hates Pokémon.  Well actually she seems to be frustrated by anyone who might fritter away time engaged in a 'video game'.  I created this rule out of my own shame early on - I was afraid that others were going to see us playing and then unfairly judge us so I wanted to keep very quiet about it.  It wasn't a very good rule because it was formed out of pride, but it had an unintended lesson in it about Ettiquette - especially for kids.

Mom doesn't know anything about Pokémon.  She doesn't really even care enough about it to learn anything about it, and as a result when there are three boys (myself included) sitting around giggling about where and how we found what creatures she is left out.
It is important for kids (and all of us) to learn that we can exclude others simply by choosing to engage a small group of friends in very esoteric conversation.  There is nothing inherently bad about talking about Pokémon, but the awareness that not everyone in the social-circle is going to understand or share that passion can help a child avoid conflict.

Early on in the phenomenon that is PoGo'ing I witness a group of teens bantering about which Pokémon were where and who caught what.  I was with a group of men waiting to play soccer and we all (regrettably) shared a deep annoyance and disdain for this group of kids choosing to be frustrated by some cultural behavior that we saw as different, and unintelligent.

I was glad that I chose to try and understand it before carrying that attitude for very long.

There is one final lesson worth mentioning, but I mention it only as an aside to this article because it really doesn't have an accompanying rule:

Lesson 4:  Life

I was out for a walk with my kids.  They were engaging in conversation with me, and excited about what might be around the next corner.  We were engrossed in random chats about this and that and after our very first visit to a PokéGym my son shares his disappointment that our Pokédex doesn't have stronger more competitive creatures that would allow us to win, even once.  My son has already shown signs of being hyper-competitive, particularly when it comes to his younger brother.  I have seen him pack up a fishing rod simply because someone he was with caught a fish first.  He's one of those kids who puts a lot of stock in 'winning out of the gate' and we have to coax him to remember that the joy of competing comes from knowing you can lose at any time, and to remeber that you can't catch any fish if you're line isn't in the water.


Pokémon Go has allowed us one more glimpse into real life.  There will always be someone who has been training harder, or training longer, or paying for premium, or just simply more prepared than we are at the time -- until there isn't.  Your passion is a choice, and when you find others who are passionate you gather with them to learn, compete, and train with but you're not always going to be the best... or early on, even competitive.

I looked at my son PoGo'ing and I saw myself dropping out of hockey, avoiding basketball, leaving the theatre before the audition and took a moment to put my arm around him and say 'I understand'.



If you've learned lessons from playing Pokémon Go with your kids leave a note in the comments or mention @stayathomegang #PoGoParents on Twitter.