Tuesday 2 April 2013

Stay at Home Furnishings

So last week I was involved in a production of one of the world's only Parkour-Plays as part of a #GIGYYC grant that was won by a friend of mine late last year.



He phoned at the end of January to say that he could have ~$1200 if he could put up a play inspired by Parkour by March 30th.  He just needed a script...  And as proud as I am of this project we are all overwhelmingly proud of (every ticket was sold) my wife knew that it was keeping me from my real passion -- dumpster-dive furniture fashioning.

That's right.  Be it known that I have always had a real knack for handy work, in particular carpentry.  And there is no subfield in carpentry more respected and awe inspiring than that of quality home furnishings.  Yes, I know it seems like I have never actually built anything, but when you've spent as long as I have thinking about building stuff, I'm practically an expert.

In all seriousness-- I get this phone call midway through March:

Tom, I have an odd favour to ask, you see there's this old palette I saw in the alley behind the church, if you get a chance while you're out with the boys to swing by and pick it up--

Sorry what?!

An old palette, look I saw on the internet [during a late night in front of the t.v. of course] that you can make a headboard for a bed from an old palette and I was hoping you'd pick one up for me.  I know it's weird but ---

Yes, it's weird.

but, really, don't feel obligated to pick it up...

and when your wife says that -- well let's just say I wasn't married yesterday.

"Seriously Dad, you built this?!" Not likely...
She didn't however mention that this palette was 7 feet tall at the time she suggested I pick it up.  I did manage to shove it into the back of the van on a wild tangent to my normal daily errands and didn't give it much more thought until (while sitting in the Mr. Lube line-up) a kind sales clerk mentioned "Ha! Sorry, I didn't realize you had two kids [in the back of the van] can't hardly see the second one for the giant palette in the way."

So then I get this email a couple days later with about 19 sites related to at-home-scrap-recycling-keep-your-husband-busy-projects with no other explanation than --- this was what I was thinking about.

Now and again I wish that my life was more like the movies and she would send me a message saying "this is what I was thinking about." and it might come with some sort of pseudo-sexy attachment suggesting perhaps a little romantic rendezvous was heading my way... but no.  Just links to DIY sites... as though she's saying -- hey, do it yourself.  Yes, that's what she said.

But I'm inspired.  I'm feeling handy.  I can do this.  And you know what... I think largely because of the success of Mindfire (the play) I felt a little... well... indestructable?  As though I could do anything... so -- and here's my proudest accomplishment, I turned off the internet, turned on my time lapse and you can watch the results of my efforts w/o commentary and reserve judgement for yourself. (p.s. when the composer for the music reads this and watches the movie then I expect that artist to contact me with the correct permissions and attribution rights just like when that artist contacted me before he cut my head from my blog-photos and pasted it onto unicorns frolicking near rainbows...)


In the end the project cost maybe $100 and it took three solid days working with and around my two sons.  But it was fun, and it felt good to finish it, and for the first time I was really proud of my handywork.  Like I might actually be able to build nice things too.

Things of note:

Supplies (for those interested in facsimiles)

Wood = knotty pine, cheap cheap at the local hardware mart (6" sideboards, 8" top-board and 10" runner)
Stain = Minwax Wood Stain: Classic Gray 271
8 x 2" bolts, washers, and wing-nuts
2" #8 wood screws
1 1/4" #8 wood screws
6 x corner brackets
Wood glue
1 old weathered palette from some back-alley
Grand total ~ $70


The extra cost came from the steel finishing plate added at the end, totally frivolous and extravagant but super-keen!

Final Version (three days in)

Steel plate not shown in this picture
 -- but you can see it on Instagr.am!
I can't wait to show off my next project...  It involves music and Pringles (tm).

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