In This Episode...

If you read this blog, and you must, because you are... whatever, my last post was about turning off the television for the month of November.  And we have... I mean we did.  I mean we are... what do I mean?  I didn't really think about how many ground-rules would be required ahead of time:  Is Netflix in-bounds, what about TV apps on the iPad, how much iPad constitutes a table-addiction, can we watch YouTube?  What if we rent a movie?

Add to that the toddler had a tooth-ache (okay a four-molar-alarm that required medicinal intervention) and a ridiculous dump of snow during a cold-snap and it was starting to feel like my TV moratorium was poorly timed.

But so was Sandy.  With all disasters comes a lack of timing, or rather, what time is the right time to have a disaster?

I lament.

And I shouldn't!  It's been good.  No, it's been great.  Well mostly great.  It's alright.  It's going fine.

This was the 1YO BEFORE the TV went off...

We're half way there right?  Are all months this long?

Enough of the side-talk, here's the deal.  I've learned some stuff already.

1.  TV can be therapy for stressed adults:  There is an onset of anxiety as one faces the prospect of an evening at home without the ability to disappear into suspended-disbelief with some reliable characters who have become replacements for our friends and community.  Thank goodness our mobile devices afford us the same distraction  (As our hands literally go numb from holding them too long).  At the same time my wife and I have had to turn to other things for therapy.  Sometimes it's even each other.

2.  A toddler's brain is much more plastic than mine:  It took but one day for the irritating nagging from my 3YO to turn on a movie, or a show for him was replaced by the beautiful requests of a regenerated 3YO boy who wants to explore his own creativity.  His one-liners have been captured on Twitter (#noTVnovember).

3.  Productivity in the rest of my life is directly related to productivity of my evenings:  Once I get the hang of finding things to motivate me to do the things on my to-do list then I start my to-do list earlier, and finish things more effectively.  In fact, much of my to-do list is finished prior to starting dinner, which means after dinner I find myself lacking things to-do... oops.  Maybe you find it easy to find ways of washing the carpets, reorganizing the junk-drawers, framing and hanging photos, rematching bags of 'lost' socks, and tightening toilet-seals, but before the TV went off these are things I "just couldn't get to".

4.  Even though our brains aren't as plastic... adult too can benefit from a vigorous reversal of the creativity dampening brought on by photon bombardment.  Case-in-point:

The Basement Campsite.

I have had the tent up in the basement for a while, mostly to air it out and double check that the seams are still good, because it's too small for the whole family now, and who the heck has time to go back-country anyway...  So I promised the 3YO on a whim that we'd set up a campsite a while back.  This past week we did it.

You don't need much, just some imagination, some time, and some eager toddlers.  We took down our Hallowe'en lights and put them in an upside-down milk crate for a campfire.  Nearby drum-sticks made grade false-kindling and the hula-hoop we've never used forged a perfect pit.  The lawn chairs came out of winter storage, and the plastic picnic table from the yard was brushed free of ice and deposited near the tent.  Some sheets and table cloths provided ample 'foliage' to create a back-drop and the pool-noodles double as amazing roasting-sticks.  A little background music provided by the Nature-Sounds playlist on Songza, and we had ourselves a retreat...  We've spent hours now, hiding from Augustus Gloop and trying not to fall in the Chocolate River (arrived at solely by the 3YO I promise you) and searching for animals with our plastic binoculars.  The tent doubles as a great wrestling mat, and the old toddler tunnel gives us great protected access to our new home in the basement.

Lest you think no TV only works for creatively-stunted Dads; Mom recently endeavored to design and create a new bed-spread for the boy complete with stenciled letters and airplanes to match the theme of the eldest's room.

Though the idea was sparked over a year ago, the impetus to follow-through only happened this week.  And the look of joy, and sheer excitement from the boys as the stencils were peeled back today was enough to make all the frustration of not being able to turn on the television during those tough times worth it.

Some might ask, "Do you actually miss anything?"   I'd argue I was missing more before it went off.

10th Anniversary - Week 6 through 8

I didn't feel much like a Stay-At-Home Dad the past few weeks because I had a lot of help, and we didn't exactly stay at home.

Ready to Go! (First picture with new camera)

My wife and I celebrated our 10th Anniversary (and our 14th year together!).  In honour of this special event I purchased her a new DSLR and planned a vacation.  The camera is an obvious choice (Nikon D3100) but you're probably thinking that planning a vacation is not all that special.

Although the last time I did that for her, it was our honeymoon, so I thought it was pretty significant.

Which brings me to

FAIL #1:

Planning anything with two active toddlers.

Organizing Toddlers...

If you have found yourself at home with two active toddlers, and you're thinking to yourself I'd like to surprise my spouse with something really special that will require some sit-down, organizational time and planning.  May I suggest hiring a baby sitter?  It really wasn't too bad... but it wasn't like it used to be that's for certain.  Thankfully, and for a change, I started months ahead of time, but the week of packing was the most difficult.

It took two days to pack the van, organize the food, complete the laundry and ensure that the list of items to take was complete.  We were leaving for fourteen days so it was important to be thorough.  Which meant that the boys either had to play IN the van while it was being packed, or they had to play IN the suitcase while it was being packed.

It happened though, and we didn't leave anything or anyone behind.

Learning to Read

You're anticipating FAIL #2 aren't you...

You're thinking that long road trips with two kids under four might be too much.  They're actually much better than you think.  We left on a Thursday night and only traveled about four hours from home.

The oldest walked into the roadside motel room (booked on Priceline) and exclaimed "Oh WOW!  This is great!  I really like this Daddy!  They have TWO beds!"  and I said, "Boy, that's exactly how a holiday should start, I now think this place is awesome too!"

FAIL #2

Be consistent.

Bedtime Olympics

The hardest part of the road trip was not the road, but the sleeping arrangements.  For the first four days of the trip the boys had to make a bed in a different place and it was interesting to hear the oldest bubble about how great the trip is, and every night pine for home.  It's a hard predicament; to want to make it all the way out to Vancouver Island from Calgary, see friends on the way, and do it in an efficient but effective manner.  Had we to do it over again I think we might have cut the drive to Whistler out of the trip to let the boys find a  place to set up for two days.  I think two days is all it takes, but a change every night is hard on them.

FAIL #3

You will never fit it all in.

Sorry Hendriks, we didn't get out to see you because you live further away than it looks like on a map of Canada.  The struggle with any big trip to places where you have friends is how do you fit all of it in, and maintain some sanity.  If people can't come to you, which often they can't, then you have to go to them.  If you're always going then you never truly find a rest which is what vacations are supposed to be for, right?

Relaxing Breakfasts

This fail is really only a pseudo fail though, because at the last minute we cancelled plans to travel too much once we got to Comox, and we cut our losses and chose a home near the water to set up shop for six days. By the end of the second day we no longer heard, "can we go home now" from the eldest.

For the Love of the Cowpoke

Part of the trip was for Andrea to see her friends too... It's not ALWAYS about me and the boys, and so we spent some time with our Military connections in Comox (all originally Calgary connections).  These times let my wife out thrift-shore shopping, evening gossip on the harbour, and beach dwelling with friends.

Spray Park Shenanigans

And why would you want to go home?!  The Island is so -- well there's a reason people retire there.  Not a day wasn't filled with some adventure, there is so much to do, and so much to see...

Comox

Lookout

FAIL #4

BC Ferries 

BC Ferries

These will remain a bane in anyone's travels not because of the BC Ferry itself, but because you just never know what is going to happen when you get there.

Attempt number 1: 

a) No Reservations - Justification:  we might want to spend an extra day in Whistler after we get there.  Prediction came true, so I look smart.
b) Wake up early enough to make the 10am sail - Justification:  We'll have lots of time to settle when we get to Comox.  Prediction came true, so I look smart.
c) No Alarm - Justification:  I have two kids under 4, who needs an alarm to get up early.  FAIL: Blackout curtains and late nights mean sleep in mornings for all.  I look like an idiot rolling over at 10 after 8 saying, "everybody up, we were supposed to leave a half hour ago!"

We made it to the ferry just in time... to sit at the ticket window because they'd closed the line ups one car before us.  Stress and anxiety abound for about ten minutes when the next sail opened up.

Unanticipated lucky break:  I didn't realize that you don't reserve every sail, and there was a boat leaving immediately after the one that I thought we'd missed.

Hunter Gatherers

Attempt number 2:

a) Reservations - Justification:  we need to be in Abbotsford by 3:30pm on a Sunday for dinner with relatives.  This is true, the extra money to reserve was worth it.
b) Wake up early enough to leave Comox to get to Nanaimo at least 30 minutes before sail to make the reservations.  This is true, we were good.
c) Plant a tree - When staying with people who have no kids for six days, no matter how much they love your kids, buy them something significant to remember why they never want to do that again...  then plant it.  Gift was well received but it pushed back the schedule
d) Buy gas - You'll need it to get to the Ferry.  This is true.  You won't look like a failure if you run out, no matter how expensive you think it might be on the Island.
e) Don't tell your wife what time you need to be at the Ferry - Justification:  she'll just start stressing if she knows that you're starting to run late.  This prediction is true, but can come back to harm you later.

Unanticipated Hiccough:  Simon gets sick on the way out of Comox all over the back seat.  It takes 20 extra minutes to clean up, and we're already late.

We made it to the Ferry (2 minutes late for the 30 minutes ahead of time) but there was a snafu with the ferries and there were traffic managers out in vests directing cars to proper line-ups.

"Do you have a reservation?" she says
"Yes" exclaims I, smirking and feeling smart.
"What time?" says she.
"Why 12:55 of course." replied confidently
"There is no 12:55" curtly responded
"Then 10 after 1?" I shrug
"You can't reserve that sail" she says.
"But I did!" starting to sweat "Maybe it could be 3?" I panic.  "I don't know let me find the reservation..."
"Here's your ticket for the line-up" she says. "If you figure it out, perhaps they'll let you pull out to the front."
"Thank you" I swallow all pride and start to drive.

And 500 cars later we're on the outskirts of Nanaimo wondering what is wrong that we're all the way back here.

STRESS.  ANXIETY.  DISAPPOINTMENT.

I pull out to speak to another traffic agent:

"Hey, I have a reservation here, it's for 12:15.  We were put in the wrong line up"
"Too bad"
"Pardon me what?!"
"You have to be in the line a half hour ahead of time.  You must be late"
"But I wasn't..."
"You're late.  If you're lucky you'll make the 3 o'clock sail."
"but..."
"get it line please"

STRESS. ANXIETY. DISAPPOINTMENT.

Wife: You idiot.
Me: Yes.
Wife: I'm going for a walk.
Me: Please talk to another agent.
Wife: Fine.
Me: I'll send a text saying we may not make it.

She leaves...

And comes back with a young male traffic attendant who seems extra eager to help this sexy blonde find a way onto the ferry.  He seems taken back when he arrives at the window of the van and she's married with kids.

"I'll radio ahead" says he.
"And you think we can get on?" says I.
"You should be good to go.  You have five minutes before it sails.  GO."
"Thank you." I blurt. "It is so good to know that men's chivalrous inclinations to save damsels is not only still alive and thriving but my wife is still classified as a damsel."

Okay, I didn't say that, but I thought it.

We were the last on the boat.

RELIEF.

Almost home.

Yard Party

Visiting family is always worth the extra effort, and ours is no different.  We arranged with our friends to meet them back at their place in Chilliwack that evening and have one last "Drink in the Hallway"... that's a story for my wife to tell though.

And then we were off to Sicamous for our last two days on the road, and some peace and tranquility... just need to find my wallet... yep, no I'm almost ready to go, but can't find my wallet... no I'm sure it was in the van... did you move it last night... no... no I know it goes in here... did you lock the van... can we look inside again... where's my wallet...

STRESS. ANXIETY. DISAPPOINTMENT.

A comedy of errors led to my wallet being left in the console of the van, the van being uncharacteristically left unlocked, and a errant traveller happening by early in the morning finding that luck had changed...  Fortunately we knew it was stolen because it was being used in Chilliwack as I was on the phone with the bank.

Sans an identity, and without cash we left with our tails between our legs feeling stupid and taken advantage of even though we realized that we had won the "stupid errors add up lottery".  I'm still sorting this one out today...

It was a sour end to the vacation.  And a FAIL we can learn from... but just outside of Salmon Arm there's a phone call that wasn't from the RCMP.  It was our friends from Calgary who just happened to be staying at the same Owlhead Creek B&B that we were going to!

Riding a Horse

Riding Paisley

Guidance

So basically every day of this holiday my boys had someone to play with, and we had other adults around.  Who planned this holiday?  (Have I mentioned I'm perfect?)

All gifts, failures, and moments of stress aside some of the best conversations we have is on the road, and this holiday we focused on one year of our relationship for every day of our travels.  That might have been the best celebration of 10 years we did.  Day one we spoke only of 1998, and by day 14 we opened up 2012. (We actually didn't have much to say about the last five years since it was all so fresh there was no point trying to relive them)... Overall, we realized how much of life we've shared, how much has changed, how much we cherished, and how neither of us can remember 2003.

10 Years More... at the Black Fin Pub, Comox BC